Miami Dolphins Rant

Well the Dolphins have firmly established themselves as leaders in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes by turning in another choke job this week. Here i will address all of the players on the Miami roster who are responsible for their position as thee worst team in the NFL.

Yeremiah Bell: Unfortunately your best days are behind you and your position as a run stopping specialist from the safety position is becoming obselete in todays NFL of spread offenses and tight ends who run 4.4 40's. Good career hampered by injuries, but you are no longer to be considered an "impact" player and are a liability in the passing game more often then not.

Reshad Jones: Can anybody name me one reason why this guy belongs as a starter in the NFL? Me neither.

Sean Smith: Either this guy is perpetually 2 days away from "that time of month" or else he's got a massive booze problem. No? Then please explain to me why else he cramps up so much?

Vontae Davis: His mouth is much bigger then his game. Every now and then shows flashes of talent that make you think he's going to take his game to the next level and then he does jack shit for the next 30-60 minutes.

Karlos Dansby: Can anyone remember one play he's made all year?

Kevin Burnett: Just another highly touted scrub we brought in that was supposed to be some big diamond in the rough find but is just a polished up turd.

Jason Taylor: After 15 years in the NFL he is not the player he use to be, and there's no shame in that. He does not have the impact on the game that he once had but it's not for lack of heart. I hope he retires tomorrow, there is no reason for him to be part of the "suck for Luck" sweepstakes, a class act and true warrior and pro to the very end.

Cameron Wake: First, I'm not sure if we're using him correctly. Why, on a critical 3rd and 10 late in the game is he covering Santonio Holmes ( who inevitably burns him for a TD) and not rushing the passer? I noticed the same thing against the Chargers, our best pass rusher is dropping back in coverage on critical passing downs, it makes no sense. That being said, Wake is not the player he was last year or the year before. In year four or five or whatever of the Cameron Wake project he has actually regressed. His game, when he's at his best and virtually unstoppable off the edge, is about speed and leverage, tonight it looked like he was playing patty-cake with the mediocre Jets tackle Wayne Hunter all night, who in turn had no problem handling the attempted bull rushes of a player at least 50lbs lighter then he was.

Paul Solia: Outstanding on some plays, pushed around and less then mediocre on others, basically the story of his career.

Koa Misi: Our "run stopping" OLB who is terrible against the run.

Randy Starks: A fish out of water, we have no idea what to do with him and it seems like he's just cashing checks now.

Kendell Langford: An ok player who seems to retain a starting job by not screwing up about as much as he doesn't make plays.

Jared Odrick: I have nothing at all to say about him and thats not necessarily a good thing. I cant remember him being a part of this team at all.

Brian Hartline: What is it exactly you do on this team?

Devon Bess: If this stat was tracked i bet he would lead the NFL in 3rd down receptions that DID NOT result in a 1st down.

Brandon Marshall: YOU SUCK, CATCH THE FUCKING BALL. Can anyone explain why he just ran out of bounds tonight?

Reggie Bush: 1st quarter wonder. Is it that you have no stamina or the 'Fins have no idea how to properly use you? I still don't know. Why don't you return punts full time, whose call is that? Why don't they let you do what it is you do best in the NFL is a mystery to me.

Daniel Thomas: Good motor, you run hard but its only 5 games into your NFL career and you've already missed 40% of them, thats not encouraging. Plus ball security seems to be an issue.

Anthony Fasano: Well, your sample size this year seems to be positive. It appears the case of the "dropsies" that haunted you last season are gone. Unfortunately the front office isn't doing you any favors. I truely believe that if the 'Fins did what the should have done and acquired an elite pass catching TE like Zach Miller, Greg Olsen or Jeremy Shockey like they should have this past offseason and/or drafted Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez or Jimmy Graham last year , then you're combination of run blocking and pass catching skills would make you the best TE2 in the NFL. But because they didnt do any of that you are just mediocre at best and i am sorry about that.

Lex Hilliard: I have nothing negative to say about you. Every time i see you on the field it looks like you are playing hard, giving it your all and doing everything you can to stay on an NFL roster, I wish the rest of the Miami team played with half the passion you do.

Jake Long/Richie Incognito/Maukrice Pouncey/Vernon Carey/Marc Columbo aka the entire offensive line: Every one of your strengths is supposed to be run blocking yet Miami sucks at running the ball. 'Nuff said.

Matt Moore: You play like a backup quarterback and thats what you are.

Tony Sparano: You still look completely lost and overwhelmed as an NFL head coach and would have been fired already if not for the lockout. If he isn't the worst coach in the NFL then who is?