The Fucking 1st

Well this isn't what this gay ass fucking blog was/is gonna be about but I've been over-thinking this shit for 2 weeks now looking for something to write about first. And the longer it went the more fucking pussy i got about it cuz it seemed to get harder to think of the right thing. So heres an old fashion non-sensical chemically enhanced/impaired 1am rant.

Did anyone else watch the Yankee-Met game on YES tonite and hear Michael "I'm a complete pompous asshole" Kay actually imply that if David Wright were to hit 200HR this season but bat under.300 ,that it would not only not be the single greatestseason of all time, but that he would in fact be less valuable then he was in a season in which he hit 32HR and batted .330? Are you fucking kidding me? This is the play by play guy in the biggest market in the world for the greatest team in the history of its sport. Thats the last straw, he fucking sucks. Something needs to be done. This aggression will not stand, man.

Do i need to explain to you how many different reasons that this is preposterous? Do i have to point out the total overall rbi he would have if he actually hit 200 homeruns or how many ABs one would actually need to acheive both 200HR AND have a sub .300 AVG? No, of course i dont cuz youre not a fucking moron, you know its all but impossible for that to happen but IF it did it would be the single greatest achievement in all of sports. But Michael Kay IS a moron, and its disgusting. (this really happened, bottom of the 5th, David Wright leading off 1-1 count, in addition to this Kay also invents a new stat as a way to take another dig at him, "walk-off error" he called it. What an asshole)

And while on the topic of disgusting, FUCK itunes. remember way back when? a time when ipod was trying to lure you into its clutches? it promised no more spending 14.99$ on a whole cd when alls you wanted was 1 or 2 songs. NO, on itunes you only pay for the songs that YOU wanted to hear and they only cost .99$ each. well, not anymore. jokes on us now motherfuckers.

We all stopped buying cds and in doing so, did the best we could to make them extinct. But we didnt see the big picture, we got played. let me ask you this: how many of you are on your second or third ipod? and between your first til current, have lost, thrown out, or destroyed either through intentional action or just indifference, all of those base cds that started your playlist. Yeah, you trashed your ipod, lost it whatever, youre computer shit the bed too too, so now youre fucked. Your playlist just went from 8,000 songs on your original cpu and ipod down to only the 457 that you bought via itunes. AND, when you realized that you had spent 457$ on itunes you thought holy shit thats a lot of fucking money on spent downloading music. So you go back onto itunes and go to download some of the music you no longer have. and you notice, every fucking song you want to download now costs a 1.29$ OR even worse, you have to buy the whole fucking cd to get the 1 fucking song you want. now i find myself wishing i could find CDs but its impossible. Theyre like native americans, you know they exist but you can't find them anywhere.

And lastly, yesterday evening i was forced to watch the "real" housewives of new york. and i mean forced in every sense of the word, no way around it. my special lady friend had a rough nite, so she was watching what ever she wanted while i just hung out in bed with her. it was all good, i was reading X-Men comics, so i didnt care what she watched. around 11:40pm ,i thought she was donewatching tv, so i turned out the light so i could get some sleep. but no, it wasnt over. she wanted to watch this show, and i couldnt say no. alls i wanted to do was go to sleep, but it was fucking impossible. the bitches on that show are so ridiculous that its impossible to ignore it. i dare you to try, its FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE. IMPOSSIBLE. it strikes a cord deep down in the bit of your bowels that makes you need to actively hate it, you just cant let the shit slide. like a lion attacking a gazelle, its instinct. its modern "entertainment" at its worst, i needed to just belittle and yell insults at the tv just so i could keep my sanity and not wake up feeling dirty. if i had a daughter id rather she become a porn star then one of the vapid soul-less talking cunts on that show
last nite they were talking about how hard it must have been for their friend to go on an all expenses paid vacation via yacht to a secluded tropical island. She was staying in an enormous mansion fully stocked with housekeeping and private chefs. words like courage, bravery, honor and respect were thrown around so loosely and casually that i actually had to look them up in the dictionary just to make sure that i understood what they meant.

i have a few Friends in the military, more then a few actually when you factor in the friends ive made through my friends in the military. They talk about doing much more imortant things under much more dangerous, unpleasant and hostile conditions with much less humility and praise. It was like she just single handedly overthrew the taliban on one leg, blind in both eyes while feeding starving babies and curing aids as she killed bin laden via ninja star instead of doing something the average person dreams about and works their whole life without ever experiencing.(BTW right now its 1:25am and i am listening to my FUCKING ipod as i type this and i got this new thing that every time Alabama Song comes on i drink Jameson, just so you know, thats happening now)
And thats all she wrote...