A Tale Of Two Titties

So the other day I'm at this titty bar, and it's not just any titty bar, but the kind that opens two hours earlier and closes two hours later then any of the others. What that also means is that its twice as dirty and the girls are twice as nasty then at any other as well. So I finish my 4th lap dance with the least fugliest dancer and she tells me i owe her 80 bucks. And I'm like, Bullshit I only owe you 20. She goes, No, it's 20$ per dance, you got four so it's 80 total. I say, I know how many dances I got, but they only cost at most 5$ per dance, not 20$, that's just ridiculous. She's gets all annoyed at me and asks why I think they only cost 5$. I say, Look, there's a big board over there above the bar, it says Tuna Grinder 5$, Roast beef w/ Cheese 5$, Chili Dog 3$, etc. I figured you're the Tuna, she's the Roast beef and that handsome "lady" over there has to be the Chili Dog. Then she starts laughing at me, and she insults me. She asks, "How stupid are you? That's the lunch menu, ya idiot", she says. And I'm like, First of all, stupid? Really? I told you my name is Ben Franklin and I discovered electricity and you said "Ooooh I've always loved electricity!" and asked me if it really was yellow. Secondly, who the fuck is eating anything that was made in here? It smells like you use Mr Clean's piss to wash the floors. And lastly, I'll tell you who the idiot is, it's the guy coming in here ordering the Pulled Pork sandwich and spending 20$ for a lap dance with a woman who looks like her nickname is the "Chili Dog". That guys a fucking moron, this here is just a misunderstanding. Here's 40 bucks, have a nice life, and go buy yourself some Valtrex. She goes, "Thanks Ben, ya big sweetie, come back real soon now, okay?"