It's more embarrassing buying a toilet plunger then it is German "Shizer" porn.
When you say "Ewoks are the original Gungans" to your wife you're really not saying anything at all. There's really no good way to explain a motor-boating that took place to your wife that you were a part of and she wasn't. Not even if it occurred before you were married. Especially not if it was at the bachelor party. But if have to, then i recommend taking as long as possible to do it and end with "It wasn't so much as me and my face motor-boating her boobs as it was her boobs motor-boating my face." and hopefully she won't want to hear anymore. Why are there no lower case numbers? How come in Episode I Darth Maul has the bad ass sleek little Sith probe droid and in Episode V the Empire has these noisy, obvious, clunky pieces of shit? I don't buy it. I vow to never again watch even a minute of Episodes II or III and reserve the right to skip any parts that suck in I. Life's too short for that shit. The Dude abides.
When you say "Ewoks are the original Gungans" to your wife you're really not saying anything at all. There's really no good way to explain a motor-boating that took place to your wife that you were a part of and she wasn't. Not even if it occurred before you were married. Especially not if it was at the bachelor party. But if have to, then i recommend taking as long as possible to do it and end with "It wasn't so much as me and my face motor-boating her boobs as it was her boobs motor-boating my face." and hopefully she won't want to hear anymore. Why are there no lower case numbers? How come in Episode I Darth Maul has the bad ass sleek little Sith probe droid and in Episode V the Empire has these noisy, obvious, clunky pieces of shit? I don't buy it. I vow to never again watch even a minute of Episodes II or III and reserve the right to skip any parts that suck in I. Life's too short for that shit. The Dude abides.
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