When i hear the name Asdrubal i picture someone who looks like Count Dracula's pretentious bisexual second cousin. Beer from long neck bottles is one of life's simple pleasures that the working man enjoys. My wedding was so fucking awesome it gave Chuck Norris a heart attack. And Chuck Norris is so fucking tough that he kicked the heart attacks ass. Squale is the man. So is Nangley. Watching a piece of your brand new couch fly off the back of your truck is pretty fucking awesome but only after you know it doesn't hit anyone. Kellogs sells bags of individually flavored cereals that you mix and match to create your own flavor. I wish i was there when whoever thought of this idea pitched it to someone else just so i can hear them say "Holy shit. That's the greatest fucking thing I've ever heard." I hate Brett Favre. Now is the time for a serious rival to ESPN and Sportscenter to rise up from the ashes. I watched a documentary about obesity on the National Geographic channel that posed the question "Are plus size pageants redefining beauty?" Based on what I saw the answer is definitely no. You know it's all bullshit anyway, the least fattest chick always wins. It's like they are saying that they believe people of all shapes and sizes are beautiful, to a point. Explaining their car insurance bill to the elderly is kinda like explaining geometry to Hellen Keller. Yeah it's possible but who really wants to do it? Sure you can invite me to a lesbian bridal shower but there's no fucking way I'm going.
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