Douche Bag of the Week

Here is something new that I would like to try, The Douche Bag of the Week award. This weeks award goes to Kelly Morningstar, the chief of police in Midway, GA who demanded that 3 teenage girls, ages 10-14, shut down their lemonade stand because, and I quote,"We were not aware of how the lemonade was made, who made the lemonade, of what the lemonade was made with, so we acted accordingly by city ordinance." The article also mentions that city law requires a $50 a day permit to operate. What type of gestapo police state has this country become where cops, and not just any cops, but the chief of the whole department, are being used against pre-teen girls to crack down on their illegal lemonade stands? Whats next, make farting illegal? The three girls were just trying to raise enough money so they could go to a water park and escape this oppressive heat wave that seems to be engulfing the entire nation(seriously it's like we only have two climates nowadays, Hoth and Mustafar). It sounds like this guy needs to keep his eyes on the target and be reminded of who the friendlies are. And plus doesn't the name Kelly Morningstar sound like a a porn star who does all anal gang-bang scenes?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43769978/ns/us_news-weird_news/

And really, you don't know what the lemonade was made with? I wasn't even there, and I'm not even a cop, but I'm pretty sure that the main ingredients in lemonade are lemons, water and sugar. I mean, sure, you can fortify your Crystal Light with some crystal meth to give it a little extra kick if you want to, or maybe add some crack for flavor, but I'm pretty sure that would not be cost effective and thus counter-productive to these girl stated goals. Plus they're only little girls, where would they even get Meth and Crack? Are you trying to say that the town you are the chief of police in is so unsafe that you can't even trust the lemonade sold by 10 and 14 year old girls made because they potentially may have spiked it with the hard street drugs that they have no problem getting? And in order to be keep everyone safe, you need to personally shut down any and all lemonade stands? Is that really what you're trying to say? Because that's what i hear when i hear shit like this, that you're town is so unsafe and it's police department so inept, that you can't even trust the lemonade sold by 10 year old girls. Think about it, at worst, that statement is only half wrong and what does that say about your job performance as the chief of police?

I wonder if this cop is the commando douche bag sort who takes his job/life way too seriously and had a full on sting operation to crack down on the illegal lemonade stand-circuit-ring and has had undercovers making buys for days leading up to the bust and he probably tapped their phones too. On the day of the take down he went in alone but had snipers on the rooves and the SWAT team on standby. The article doesn't explicitly say that the chief fondled the girls as he stole their money but then again it doesn't not say it either, so there you have it, 'nuff said.

So here's to you officer Kelly "All-Anal" Morningstar, may your penis be severed in a freak tragic weed-whacking accident and go fuck yourself ya douche bag, you've earned it.